Meet 'The Sugar daddy'

Well first of all can I start by saying that this has without a doubt been the most eventful 48 hours of my life. But to say it has neither been the most enjoyable or exciting 48 hours of my 22 years on earth, would be a lie in itself.

Well I guess I should start by introducing myself and explaining my background and why I have chosen to fund such a wonderful club. The name is Brett, aka 'the sugar daddy'. I have been a resident of Brighton all my life, but much of my billions have come from my overseas business ventures. The main source of my wealth comes from my funeral care services. I own 90% of all funeral parlours within north and South America, and this has allowed me to have a non-stop cash flow, as people never stop kicking the bucket. I'm also lucky in the fact that many Americans are extremely obese, and thus need larger and stronger caskets to hold such big f******. This in turn means that I can charge almost triple the price for a large coffin than I do for a smaller coffin, which only holds small children and Asian people. Other than my funeral services I have recently branched out into making and constructing underground mansions, of which I have already seen a huge return into the millions I have already invested. I have to date constructed around 2,500 luxury mansions, most of which a situated under Beverly Hills, Manhattan and Denver, Colorado. The main driving force behind this project is two fold. One is that it avoids any planning permission, as no one will ever know where these mansions are stationed, and two there is fast amounts of space available to build your dream home.

But it is this current venture I believe to be my crowning glory, and I am sure will define me as a person. I believe my funding of such a project, and holding a player/ sugar daddy role within the club, will not only help me give something back to society but also supports what I believe football to be all about, grassroots football. Over the years football has gone through a rapid transformation from a working class community game, to one of foreign ownership and investment and a wage bill which has topped £1 Billion in our premier league this year alone. It seems that the game we all love and hold close to our hearts has gone from a fun loving sport to one which is seen as a multi Billion franchise, with money replacing a love of a club. This is why I have chosen to fund such a club, not for monetary gain, but for the gain of the hunger for joy which exists within football. I believe with a few key signing that we can go all the way, and we urge any of you who believe you have what it takes to haunt Iniesta, come and join us. It's going to be one hell of a ride!

Kind Regards

Brett, aka 'The sugar daddy'