Housewifes favourite, Tom Stewart, has been announced fully fit ahead of the Ghosts do-or-die clash with Unreal Madrid tonight.
Stewart once more filled the tabloids column inches, but this time not for the right reasons. Questions were asked about the legendary pin-up's fitness levels after the heavy defeat at the hands of Red Snapper.
"I've never been one to shy away from media attention" Yelled Stewart at todays press conference "Infact i thrive on it. I cut out all articles that involve me and put them on the walls of my mansion. Then i wonder around naked using the articles as masturbation aids."
Stewart has been on an intensive fitness regime this week, implemented by the clubs world class medical team
"Yeah, it's been tough. Probably the hardest i've been pushed in a long time- both mentally and physically. At times i've literally ached like a rape victim. From a really severe rape. I knew i had to do it though, it's the sacrifices we sports idols make for the love of the game. Traffic wardens love wardening traffic, and i love making offensive plays, everyone's the same really at the end of the day"
Stewart joins an unchanged side from last week's defeat. Loanee Ollie Lauria has extended his loan spell at The Haunted House Arena and the diminutive playmaker goes straight into tonights side. Ralph Miller returns from a diplomatic trip to the west country and the trio are joined by goalscorer supreme Brett Crossingham and superstar custodian Rob Gill.
The ghosts are still without a host of star names who all continue to be stricken with a mystery sexual virus.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment