Friday, 12 June 2009

Stewart vows to improve fitness

Superstar playmaker, Tom Stewart, has vowed to improve his recently criticised fitness levels.

Online message boards were bombarded with furious Ghostiacs lambasting the clubs top earner for his lacklustre fitness. In response to this, the former Real Salt Lake man has vowed to repay the fans faith in his by working hard in the gym.

"I can understand the fans frustration, they pay their money and deserve to see us performing at our best. I admit that my pre-season hasn't been the best, i've had a number of off-field problems to deal with that have distracted me from my training."

Stewart, who has only recently been given permission to play again after a string of drug bans, aswell as lengthy misconduct charges.

"The Honey Club incident was a low point. To get caught in possession of heroin is one thing, but to be filmed stabbing my dealer to death is a step too far. FIFA were right to give me a slap on the wrist"

'The Tominator' as he is know by his adoring followers, was repeatedly outpaced by an experienced Red Snapper attack, and he is fully aware that this can not be repeated

"Yeah, it was embarassing at times. I've never been outpaced in my life and it was hard to take. The opposing fans were abusing me for lengthy periods and i let it affect me. To be called an 'obese piece of shit' by low life like that shows how far my career has plummeted since my MLS days and my seasons in the Blue Square South. I know what i need to work on. I owe it to the club as they pay me a lot, although obviously they re-coup a lot of that in shirt sales and image rights. I will vow to work hard with an intense training regime that the coaches have given me, and i am altering my diet to a low-carb, high protein diet, with lots of isotonic drinks thrown into the mix. I'm allowed a protein shake every wednesday, and they ARE good."

Stewart is in the squad for Mondays game with Unreal Madrid. Kick off is at 8pm, and tickets are unbelievably still on sale.

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